How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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