i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
