Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
