it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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