i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
