is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize