I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We have started to decorate penises.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
