Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
