I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
