haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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