i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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