He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
