So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
