I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
