The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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