so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
