Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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