My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
