Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
