Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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