Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
