it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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