Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
