Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
