He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
