I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
