didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize