I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
