my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My breasts were aching with rage.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
