I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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