I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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