There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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