Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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