I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry about my life...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
