I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
