Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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