I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
