is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
