I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
