How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
