I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
