toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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