Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I lost the right to judge tonight
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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