Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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