Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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