I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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