My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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