ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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