didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
