i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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