There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
