Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just had sex bonerless
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
