What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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