everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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